February 10, 2014 by Jason Demakis
…About the wrong things, of course! How many times have you allowed yourself to remain stagnant because of fear of other people’s opinions in regards to your path? Here’s an article telling you why you not only need to stop doing this, but also why no longer doing so empowers you into domains of personal growth and progress beyond the bounds of everyone else who’s still too terrified of what other people are thinking! The “secret” to unconditional happiness and gratitude actually begins with not giving a fuck!
People Are Judging You RIGHT NOW! What Are You Going to Do?!
“We’re often afraid to tell others exactly how we feel, because we are afraid of what others will have to say about how we feel.” -Abraham Hicks
Let’s set something straight from the get go: the majority of people who have higher goals and ambitions for themselves will almost always rationalize away taking action because of irrational and unnecessary fears rooted in the opinion of others. Besides factors such as logistics and planning (both of which most people will still rationalize relative to what other people will think and assume), how much of your higher calling and passion continues to elude you simply because you refuse to step over the red tape and potentially “piss off” and/or “offend” a few people? Are these “few people” friends and family? Are these “few people” society in general?
The root of ALL of this is conflict-avoidance, and this is precisely what’s keeping you spinning your wheels. Here’s a couple of reasons why you should stop giving a fuck, and start living for yourself and your highest passions and goals TODAY.
STOP Trying to Please Everyone
The key to true personal progress lies in NOT trying to please everyone. If you’re busy pleasing everyone, you are actively displeasing yourself. Even if you’re taking action through your higher passion and excitement – if done so in a way where you try and make everyone happy, you seriously dilute your efforts, and drain yourself in the process. The epitome of this personality can be observed via creative types who force themselves to suffer through work they hate so they can afford to do what they love, rather than doing what they love – making it work financially in other ways – and not giving a fuck about what anyone thinks about them taking said alternate path in life.
What kind of a message are you sending if you willingly accept things as “necessary evils” in your life, rather than learning to deal with the consequences of not prioritizing said “necessary evils” – so you CAN prioritize things that actually matter to you? Are you afraid to quit that job you hate and go directly towards your passion with gusto because you’re afraid people will call you lazy for not committing to self-misery and sharing in their ignorance of better, more empowering choices? Are you afraid of being temporarily broke because of how people will perceive you? If you have a family and/or kids, I understand that this sounds unreasonable, and I accept that. However, the entire generation of 20 somethings who are banging their heads against the wall need to see that there are other ways to live this life.
What’s more important to you; how people perceive your role in society, or actually making progress that will eventually enable you to help others in ways neither you nor they can fathom at present – ways that EXCEED the expectations of societal service? At present, I’m temporarily “broke” in terms of “day job” income. This, however, doesn’t stop me from writing daily, working on The Progressive Self 2.0 website, and meeting with people who share my passion for personal progress. Because I prioritize these actions over everything else, I’m granted opportunities to make money and support myself in ways that my past self would perceive as absolute fantasy. Nature loves courage my friends; remember when we said courage is the gateway/threshold to personal progress? ; )
STOP Trying NOT to Offend People
Most people will actually make more of an effort to NOT offend someone by attempting to shoe-horn their true beliefs into conversation in a way that pleases everyone around them – except for themselves.
If someone takes offense to the idea that everyone deserves the right to exercise their freewill choice in ways that bring them happiness and cause no harm or damage to anyone or anything else around them, then I don’t want them in my reality. It’s that simple. Expressing and asserting your values openly with others is precisely how you find out who’s compatible with you on the deepest levels of being – the levels that actually matter – versus things like musical taste, sports teams, or food preferences. These things are all fine and well, but how successful were your past relationships that were built on these things alone? How do they compare to relationships that are founded on truth and honesty between one or more people on the deepest possible levels?
Now of course, going out and actively offending people isn’t what I’m talking about. Offending people, when it occurs as a natural result of being who you truly are, is the quickest way to find out who’s incompatible with you. This saves you immense heartache, headache, soul-ache, and TIME in the long run. If people are offended because you’d rather create art or start a business or travel the world instead of being a life-long wage slave, then they are doing you a huge favor by saving you time and showing you who exactly NOT to hang around with.
STOP Trying to “Play by The Rules” and Expecting Rewards Beyond What Everyone Who “Plays by The Rules” is Already Getting
No, I’m not talking about breaking the law here. I’m talking about breaking “the rules” that we as a society consensually agree to be in place. Go to school, get a job, save for retirement, then die. Doesn’t sound like a very appealing path to me; I prefer to use this model as motivation to get myself in gear with what I actually want to do with my life. If you want to start a business but don’t have the start up cash, don’t be afraid to let a phone bill or two go unpaid. Push yourself beyond your comfort zone and see that the fear in your head is almost always much, much worse than the reality. You can live without a cellphone for a week or two if that means you can invest an extra $100 in your dream…versus your present, complacent reality.
You DO know that you can literally afford to lose any and all material items in the pursuit of your dreams, right? Anything that involves money is replenish-able. TIME, on the other hand, is finite. What you do with your time determines how much you will get out of life. Time – not money – is your single greatest asset while you’re alive in this reality, for it’s the actions you take through time which determine how much money you’ll be capable of generating. You are aware that some of the biggest writers, actors, directors, inventors, speakers, poets, musicians, and CEOs of some of the largest, most successful companies and organizations “failed miserably” over and over and over again in regards to “the straight path”, right? Open up a separate tab, and after you’re done with this article go to Google and search “celebrities who started out homeless”.
Do your own research and let that sink in for a bit.
Only people who don’t give a fuck have the ability to change the world…and they usually do!
Enough of the “STOP”, and on with the “DO”!
People Naturally Respect People Who Stand Up For Their Values and Goals with Integrity
Do you know why?! Because most people are terrified of standing up for themselves, what the truly value, and using those things to follow their goals with gusto – because they’re still terrified of what other people think about them! What a waste of time, energy, and resources; do not default to the goal of “people pleaser”. Further more, people respect people who go for their goals with gusto, because on a deep subconscious level, they know that they should be prioritizing their life similarly. Notice how people obsess over celebrities and athletes – this is because they wish they had the balls to take the steps necessary to actively engage their wildest dreams. This is the epitome of the meaning “complacency kills”, especially in regards to goals and aspirations that go beyond societal expectations.
What kind of a world would we live in today if people like Martin Luther King Jr. decided it was easier to just get a job and follow along with everyone else? And while your goal doesn’t have to be massive world change as in this example, can you not appreciate the amount of resistance these types of people faced, yet kept going because their goal was infinitely more important than any amount of temporary monetary loss or public perception loss? Since I highly doubt that even a fraction of the amount of people that had their eyes on MLK Jr. are paying attention to you and your life right NOW, what the hell are you so anxious about? Further more, what the hell are you actually doing?!
Diminish and Dismiss Your Perception of “Obstacles” and Allow Yourself to Take Action NOW
What you need to do is cultivate the ability to dismiss obstacles as becoming irrelevant and unimportant to your goal. When you do this, you allow yourself to take action that can bring about the changes you’re yearning so deeply for, instead of worrying yourself in circles and perpetuating the misery that gives you your current identity. Until you learn to allow yourself to begin having the courage to live consciously and in alignment with your true goals, nothing will change. It should now be blatantly obvious that our beliefs about ourselves, others, and our potentials are all that’s shaping and perpetuating our present reality.
The easiest way to see what I’m talking about here is to simply observe others. Notice how they know that they’re miserable on their current path, but they don’t dare take any action that would jeopardize their security. These people unconsciously accept security over personal freedom, and that’s why they end up with neither in the long run. What good is that kind of security if it can be turned off entirely by deciding not to comply with someone else’s goals and dreams (working for another company, person, entity, etc)? What this all comes down to is control. This is the epitome of living a conditional existence; your sense of well-being and self-worth is tethered to your personal idea of external security. Since you never have full control over your own security, you thus never actually have full control over your own well-being and self-worth.
People in general are scared and unhappy, so they believe that fooling other people into doing things for them will make them less scared and more happy. This doesn’t work, however, so said people assume they need to control more people via more outlets so that they themselves can feel more in control of their life. This is a psychological trap that infects the entire hierarchy operating on planet Earth at this point. Don’t believe me? Notice how the news and media is saturated with government policy constantly becoming tighter and more restrictive with each passing month and year, despite the results of such attempts almost always yielding the opposite result.
The Final Insight: Inner Self-Mastery and Unconditional Happiness are The Skeleton Keys of This Reality
When you learn to make your sense of happiness, well-being, self-worth and security non-conditional (unconditional) on your current external circumstances, that’s when you actually achieve full, true security. This is because embracing all of those things without convincing yourself that you need an external reason (or have to meet some arbitrary quota i.e. X dollars in the bank or Y time to take action) to do so actually attracts people and experiences which will reinforce that very vibration. The universe does not know nor care for the difference between someone who actually has a million dollars, and someone who is putting out the vibe that they have a million dollars. This is when you start operating from the vibration of unconditional happiness; your happiness is a constant, regardless of how much or how abruptly your external environment and circumstances shift around on your way to your goal.
Simply put: your happiness should not be conditional on anything, much less on other people’s perceptions, opinions, or thoughts about you. You can apply this principle to ALL areas of your life, including money and relationships. Paradoxically, by approaching life in this manner, you actually end up engaging the correct vibrational assertiveness that activates the principles spoken of in the law of attraction, and you begin attracting people, circumstances, and opportunities into your reality that are congruent with and assist your progression on this vibration. Unconditional happiness and gratitude is literally all you need to begin consciously practicing in order to allow yourself to make a b-line towards your highest goals and passions in the most optimized way possible.
…And you can’t even begin to approach that vibration so long as your mind is filled with negativity in regards to what other people think in regard to the choices and decisions that deep down you know you really want to make.
Live and choose consciously and unconditionally, my wonderful friends! ; )
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Written by Jason Demakis February 10th, 2014